The Revenge of Trumpenstein

CJ Hopkins

So, it’s déjà vu all over again.

That’s right, he’s back! Trumpenstein the Monster! Literal Russian-Agent Hitler! The Ayatollah of Orange Shinola! And this time he’s not screwing around!

No, this time, he is really going to “drain the swamp”! He’s going to rebuild that “big, beautiful wall”! It’s curtains for all you Mexican rapists, cat-barbecuing Haitians, and squirrel-murdering commies! There will be no more cross-dressing perverts perfidiously flouridating our precious bodily fluids! No more egg-headed Cultural Marxists infecting our kids with their “Woke mind virus”!

This is the dawn of a Golden Age of Morning in America Made Great Again!

Seriously, this is not just a childish fantasy or a rebooted marketing campaign. Trump and Elon, and their buddies on Wall Street, and in the Military-Industrial Complex, and Silicon Valley, are literally going to save America from Libtardism! They are going to kick some deep-state ass!

It’s going to be like the climax of one of those Hollywood comic-book super-hero movies, where the hero makes his “Final Push” — after suffering an end-of-Act-II “Major-Setback” — and beats the living snot out of the antagonist, and then we all live happily ever after!

Of course, for liberals, it will be like one of those Hammer horror movie sequels from the 1970s. The Return of the Revenge of the Curse of Trumpenstein! The Horror of the Evil of the Revenge of Trumpenstein! The Horror of Trumpenstein Must Be Destroyed!

The coming four years of recycled mass hysteria has already started. Jimmy “rest in peace wheezy” Kimmel is choking up on late-night television. Arnold “screw your freedom” Schwarzenegger has not been heard from and is probably in hiding. Some celebrity named Cardi B posted “I hate y’all bad” on the Instagram. MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough blamed the Blacks and Hispanics for betraying Kamala. Jason Stanley, the supercilious “fascism expert” who did that “Trump is Literally the Resurrection of Hitler” New York Times video back in 2018, has proclaimed this “The End of US Democracy,” again.

Militant liberals are digging out their saftey-pins and pink pussyhats and preparing to reassemble “The Resistance.” California has been designated “Resistance HQ.”

They’re going to have wait a couple of months, though, because, technically, the Trumpians are still “The Resistance”…

…and we can only have one “Resistance” at a time, or “The Resistance” ends up resisting “The Resistance,” which would make “The Resistance” the thing it is “resisting,” which would make that thing — i.e., the thing it is “resisting” — kind of like one of the official enemies in Orwell’s 1984, which the Party switches from time to time, which, of course, it is, but…well, ignore that for now.

This is no time for critical thinking, or for any other type of thinking!

No, it’s time to Make America Great Again, or to Save the World from Hitler again, and respond to whichever Pavlovian stimuli you happen to have been conditioned to respond to!

Which is why I’m going to wait a while before I publish anything serious on this topic. I’m kind of tired of pissing into the wind at the moment. Watching the actual potential resistance to the rollout of The New Normal Reich get captured, harnessed, and redirected back into the usual partisan-politics sideshow by Elon Musk et al. for the past two years has left me feeling a little disheartened, or disillusioned, or sad, or something.

I do have a few thoughts about where we are headed, which I’m pretty sure no one is going to like. I’ll publish them once things settle down a bit. For now, here’s a little preview…

If I’m right, where we are headed will be déjà vu all over again all over again. But whatever. Let’s get back to the show!

CJ Hopkins is an award-winning American playwright, novelist and political satirist based in Berlin. His plays are published by Bloomsbury Publishing and Broadway Play Publishing, Inc. His dystopian novel, Zone 23, is published by Snoggsworthy, Swaine & Cormorant. Volumes I and II of his Consent Factory Essays are published by Consent Factory Publishing, a wholly-owned subsidiary of Amalgamated Content, Inc. He can be reached at cjhopkins.com or consentfactory.org.