George Orwell's 1984 -- Chapter 8
Nineteen
Eighty-Four is a rare work that grows more haunting as its
futuristic purgatory becomes more real. Published in 1949, the book
offers political satirist George Orwell's nightmare vision of a
totalitarian, bureaucratic world and one poor stiff's attempt to find
individuality. The brilliance of the novel is Orwell's prescience of
modern life--the ubiquity of television, the distortion of the
language--and his ability to construct such a thorough version of
hell. Required reading for students since it was published, it ranks
among the most terrifying novels ever written.
Chapter 8
From somewhere at
the bottom of a passage the smell of roasting coffee — real coffee, not Victory
Coffee — came floating out into the street. Winston paused involuntarily. For
perhaps two seconds he was back in the half-forgotten world of his childhood.
Then a door banged, seeming to cut off the smell as abruptly as though it had
been a sound.
He
had walked several kilometres over pavements, and his varicose ulcer was
throbbing. This was the second time in three weeks that he had missed an
evening at the Community Centre: a rash act, since you could be certain that
the number of your attendances at the Centre was carefully checked. In
principle a Party member had no spare time, and was never alone except in bed.
It was assumed that when he was not working, eating, or sleeping he would be
taking part in some kind of communal recreation: to do anything that suggested
a taste for solitude, even to go for a walk by yourself, was always slightly
dangerous. There was a word for it in Newspeak: ownlife, it was called, meaning
individualism and eccentricity. But this evening as he came out of the Ministry
the balminess of the April air had tempted him. The sky was a warmer blue than
he had seen it that year, and suddenly the long, noisy evening at the Centre,
the boring, exhausting games, the lectures, the creaking camaraderie oiled by
gin, had seemed intolerable. On impulse he had turned away from the bus-stop
and wandered off into the labyrinth of London, first south, then east, then
north again, losing himself among unknown streets and hardly bothering in which
direction he was going.
'If
there is hope,' he had written in the diary, 'it lies in the proles.' The words
kept coming back to him, statement of a mystical truth and a palpable
absurdity. He was somewhere in the vague, brown-coloured slums to the north and
east of what had once been Saint Pancras Station. He was walking up a cobbled
street of little two-storey houses with battered doorways which gave straight
on the pavement and which were somehow curiously suggestive of ratholes. There
were puddles of filthy water here and there among the cobbles. In and out of
the dark doorways, and down narrow alley-ways that branched off on either side,
people swarmed in astonishing numbers — girls in full bloom, with crudely
lipsticked mouths, and youths who chased the girls, and swollen waddling women
who showed you what the girls would be like in ten years' time, and old bent
creatures shuffling along on splayed feet, and ragged barefooted children who
played in the puddles and then scattered at angry yells from their mothers.
Perhaps a quarter of the windows in the street were broken and boarded up. Most
of the people paid no attention to Winston; a few eyed him with a sort of
guarded curiosity. Two monstrous women with brick-red forearms folded across
their aprons were talking outside a doorway. Winston caught scraps of
conversation as he approached.
'
"Yes," I says to 'er, "that's all very well," I says.
"But if you'd of been in my place you'd of done the same as what I done.
It's easy to criticize," I says, "but you ain't got the same problems
as what I got." '
'Ah,'
said the other, 'that's jest it. That's jest where it is.'
The
strident voices stopped abruptly. The women studied him in hostile silence as
he went past. But it was not hostility, exactly; merely a kind of wariness, a
momentary stiffening, as at the passing of some unfamiliar animal. The blue
overalls of the Party could not be a common sight in a street like this.
Indeed, it was unwise to be seen in such places, unless you had definite
business there. The patrols might stop you if you happened to run into them.
'May I see your papers, comrade? What are you doing here? What time did you
leave work? Is this your usual way home?' — and so on and so forth. Not that
there was any rule against walking home by an unusual route: but it was enough
to draw attention to you if the Thought Police heard about it.
Suddenly
the whole street was in commotion. There were yells of warning from all sides.
People were shooting into the doorways like rabbits. A young woman leapt out of
a doorway a little ahead of Winston, grabbed up a tiny child playing in a
puddle, whipped her apron round it, and leapt back again, all in one movement.
At the same instant a man in a concertina-like black suit, who had emerged from
a side alley, ran towards Winston, pointing excitedly to the sky.
'Steamer!'
he yelled. 'Look out, guv'nor! Bang over'ead! Lay down quick!'
'Steamer'
was a nickname which, for some reason, the proles applied to rocket bombs.
Winston promptly flung himself on his face. The proles were nearly always right
when they gave you a warning of this kind. They seemed to possess some kind of
instinct which told them several seconds in advance when a rocket was coming,
although the rockets supposedly travelled faster than sound. Winston clasped
his forearms above his head. There was a roar that seemed to make the pavement
heave; a shower of light objects pattered on to his back. When he stood up he
found that he was covered with fragments of glass from the nearest window.
He
walked on. The bomb had demolished a group of houses 200 metres up the street.
A black plume of smoke hung in the sky, and below it a cloud of plaster dust in
which a crowd was already forming around the ruins. There was a little pile of
plaster lying on the pavement ahead of him, and in the middle of it he could
see a bright red streak. When he got up to it he saw that it was a human hand
severed at the wrist. Apart from the bloody stump, the hand was so completely
whitened as to resemble a plaster cast.
He
kicked the thing into the gutter, and then, to avoid the crowd, turned down a
side-street to the right. Within three or four minutes he was out of the area
which the bomb had affected, and the sordid swarming life of the streets was
going on as though nothing had happened. It was nearly twenty hours, and the
drinking-shops which the proles frequented ('pubs', they called them) were
choked with customers. From their grimy swing doors, endlessly opening and
shutting, there came forth a smell of urine, sawdust, and sour beer. In an
angle formed by a projecting house-front three men were standing very close
together, the middle one of them holding a folded-up newspaper which the other
two were studying over his shoulder. Even before he was near enough to make out
the expression on their faces, Winston could see absorption in every line of
their bodies. It was obviously some serious piece of news that they were reading.
He was a few paces away from them when suddenly the group broke up and two of
the men were in violent altercation. For a moment they seemed almost on the
point of blows.
'Can't
you bleeding well listen to what I say? I tell you no number ending in seven
ain't won for over fourteen months!'
'Yes,
it 'as, then!'
'No,
it 'as not! Back 'ome I got the 'ole lot of 'em for over two years wrote down
on a piece of paper. I takes 'em down reg'lar as the clock. An' I tell you, no
number ending in seven-'
'Yes,
a seven 'as won! I could pretty near tell you the bleeding number. Four oh
seven, it ended in. It were in February — second week in February.'
'February
your grandmother! I got it all down in black and white. An' I tell you, no
number-'
'Oh,
pack it in!' said the third man.
They
were talking about the Lottery. Winston looked back when he had gone thirty
metres. They were still arguing, with vivid, passionate faces. The Lottery,
with its weekly pay-out of enormous prizes, was the one public event to which the
proles paid serious attention. It was probable that there were some millions of
proles for whom the Lottery was the principal if not the only reason for
remaining alive. It was their delight, their folly, their anodyne, their
intellectual stimulant. Where the Lottery was concerned, even people who could
barely read and write seemed capable of intricate calculations and staggering
feats of memory. There was a whole tribe of men who made a living simply by
selling systems, forecasts, and lucky amulets. Winston had nothing to do with
the running of the Lottery, which was managed by the Ministry of Plenty, but he
was aware (indeed everyone in the party was aware) that the prizes were largely
imaginary. Only small sums were actually paid out, the winners of the big
prizes being non-existent persons. In the absence of any real
intercommunication between one part of Oceania and another, this was not
difficult to arrange.
But
if there was hope, it lay in the proles. You had to cling on to that. When you
put it in words it sounded reasonable: it was when you looked at the human
beings passing you on the pavement that it became an act of faith. The street
into which he had turned ran downhill. He had a feeling that he had been in
this neighbourhood before, and that there was a main thoroughfare not far away.
From somewhere ahead there came a din of shouting voices. The street took a
sharp turn and then ended in a flight of steps which led down into a sunken
alley where a few stall-keepers were selling tired-looking vegetables. At this
moment Winston remembered where he was. The alley led out into the main street,
and down the next turning, not five minutes away, was the junk-shop where he
had bought the blank book which was now his diary. And in a small stationer's shop
not far away he had bought his penholder and his bottle of ink.
He
paused for a moment at the top of the steps. On the opposite side of the alley
there was a dingy little pub whose windows appeared to be frosted over but in
reality were merely coated with dust. A very old man, bent but active, with
white moustaches that bristled forward like those of a prawn, pushed open the
swing door and went in. As Winston stood watching, it occurred to him that the
old man, who must be eighty at the least, had already been middle-aged when the
Revolution happened. He and a few others like him were the last links that now
existed with the vanished world of capitalism. In the Party itself there were
not many people left whose ideas had been formed before the Revolution. The
older generation had mostly been wiped out in the great purges of the fifties
and sixties, and the few who survived had long ago been terrified into complete
intellectual surrender. If there was any one still alive who could give you a
truthful account of conditions in the early part of the century, it could only
be a prole. Suddenly the passage from the history book that he had copied into
his diary came back into Winston's mind, and a lunatic impulse took hold of
him. He would go into the pub, he would scrape acquaintance with that old man
and question him. He would say to him: 'Tell me about your life when you were a
boy. What was it like in those days? Were things better than they are now, or
were they worse?'
Hurriedly,
lest he should have time to become frightened, he descended the steps and
crossed the narrow street. It was madness of course. As usual, there was no
definite rule against talking to proles and frequenting their pubs, but it was
far too unusual an action to pass unnoticed. If the patrols appeared he might
plead an attack of faintness, but it was not likely that they would believe
him. He pushed open the door, and a hideous cheesy smell of sour beer hit him
in the face. As he entered the din of voices dropped to about half its volume.
Behind his back he could feel everyone eyeing his blue overalls. A game of
darts which was going on at the other end of the room interrupted itself for
perhaps as much as thirty seconds. The old man whom he had followed was
standing at the bar, having some kind of altercation with the barman, a large,
stout, hook-nosed young man with enormous forearms. A knot of others, standing
round with glasses in their hands, were watching the scene.
'I
arst you civil enough, didn't I?' said the old man, straightening his shoulders
pugnaciously. 'You telling me you ain't got a pint mug in the 'ole bleeding
boozer?'
'And
what in hell's name is a pint?' said the barman, leaning forward with the tips
of his fingers on the counter.
'Ark
at 'im! Calls 'isself a barman and don't know what a pint is! Why, a pint's the
'alf of a quart, and there's four quarts to the gallon. 'Ave to teach you the
A, B, C next.'
'Never
heard of 'em,' said the barman shortly. 'Litre and half litre — that's all we
serve. There's the glasses on the shelf in front of you.
'I
likes a pint,' persisted the old man. 'You could 'a drawed me off a pint easy
enough. We didn't 'ave these bleeding litres when I was a young man.'
'When
you were a young man we were all living in the treetops,' said the barman, with
a glance at the other customers.
There
was a shout of laughter, and the uneasiness caused by Winston's entry seemed to
disappear. The old man's whitestubbled face had flushed pink. He turned away,
muttering to himself, and bumped into Winston. Winston caught him gently by the
arm.
'May
I offer you a drink?' he said.
'You're
a gent,' said the other, straightening his shoulders again. He appeared not to
have noticed Winston's blue overalls. 'Pint!' he added aggressively to the
barman. 'Pint of wallop.'
The
barman swished two half-litres of dark-brown beer into thick glasses which he
had rinsed in a bucket under the counter. Beer was the only drink you could get
in prole pubs. The proles were supposed not to drink gin, though in practice
they could get hold of it easily enough. The game of darts was in full swing
again, and the knot of men at the bar had begun talking about lottery tickets.
Winston's presence was forgotten for a moment. There was a deal table under the
window where he and the old man could talk without fear of being overheard. It
was horribly dangerous, but at any rate there was no telescreen in the room, a
point he had made sure of as soon as he came in.
"E
could 'a drawed me off a pint,' grumbled the old man as he settled down behind
a glass. 'A 'alf litre ain't enough. It don't satisfy. And a 'ole litre's too
much. It starts my bladder running. Let alone the price.'
'You
must have seen great changes since you were a young man,' said Winston
tentatively.
The
old man's pale blue eyes moved from the darts board to the bar, and from the
bar to the door of the Gents, as though it were in the bar-room that he
expected the changes to have occurred.
'The
beer was better,' he said finally. 'And cheaper! When I was a young man, mild
beer — wallop we used to call it — was fourpence a pint. That was before the
war, of course.'
'Which
war was that?' said Winston.
'It's
all wars,' said the old man vaguely. He took up his glass, and his shoulders
straightened again. "Ere's wishing you the very best of 'ealth!'
In
his lean throat the sharp-pointed Adam's apple made a surprisingly rapid
up-and-down movement, and the beer vanished. Winston went to the bar and came
back with two more half-litres. The old man appeared to have forgotten his
prejudice against drinking a full litre.
'You
are very much older than I am,' said Winston. 'You must have been a grown man
before I was born. You can remember what it was like in the old days, before
the Revolution. People of my age don't really know anything about those times.
We can only read about them in books, and what it says in the books may not be
true. I should like your opinion on that. The history books say that life
before the Revolution was completely different from what it is now. There was
the most terrible oppression, injustice, poverty worse than anything we can
imagine. Here in London, the great mass of the people never had enough to eat
from birth to death. Half of them hadn't even boots on their feet. They worked
twelve hours a day, they left school at nine, they slept ten in a room. And at
the same time there were a very few people, only a few thousands — the
capitalists, they were called — who were rich and powerful. They owned
everything that there was to own. They lived in great gorgeous houses with thirty
servants, they rode about in motor-cars and four-horse carriages, they drank
champagne, they wore top hats-'
The
old man brightened suddenly.
'Top
'ats!' he said. 'Funny you should mention 'em. The same thing come into my 'ead
only yesterday, I dono why. I was jest thinking, I ain't seen a top 'at in
years. Gorn right out, they 'ave. The last time I wore one was at my
sister-in-law's funeral. And that was — well, I couldn't give you the date, but
it must'a been fifty years ago. Of course it was only 'ired for the occasion,
you understand.'
'It
isn't very important about the top hats,' said Winston patiently. 'The point
is, these capitalists — they and a few lawyers and priests and so forth who
lived on them — were the lords of the earth. Everything existed for their
benefit. You — the ordinary people, the workers — were their slaves. They could
do what they liked with you. They could ship you off to Canada like cattle.
They could sleep with your daughters if they chose. They could order you to be
flogged with something called a cat-o'-nine tails. You had to take your cap off
when you passed them. Every capitalist went about with a gang of lackeys who-'
The
old man brightened again.
'Lackeys!'
he said. 'Now there's a word I ain't 'eard since ever so long. Lackeys! That
reg'lar takes me back, that does. I recollect oh, donkey's years ago — I used
to sometimes go to 'Yde Park of a Sunday afternoon to 'ear the blokes making
speeches. Salvation Army, Roman Catholics, Jews, Indians — all sorts there was.
And there was one bloke — well, I couldn't give you 'is name, but a real
powerful speaker 'e was. 'E didn't 'alf give it 'em! "Lackeys!" 'e
says, "lackeys of the bourgeoisie! Flunkies of the ruling class!"
Parasites — that was another of them. And 'yenas — 'e definitely called 'em
'yenas. Of course 'e was referring to the Labour Party, you understand.'
Winston
had the feeling that they were talking at cross-purposes.
'What
I really wanted to know was this,' he said. 'Do you feel that you have more
freedom now than you had in those days? Are you treated more like a human
being? In the old days, the rich people, the people at the top-'
'The
'Ouse of Lords,' put in the old man reminiscently.
'The
House of Lords, if you like. What I am asking is, were these people able to
treat you as an inferior, simply because they were rich and you were poor? Is
it a fact, for instance, that you had to call them "Sir" and take off
your cap when you passed them?'
The
old man appeared to think deeply. He drank off about a quarter of his beer
before answering.
'Yes,'
he said. 'They liked you to touch your cap to 'em. It showed respect, like. I
didn't agree with it, myself, but I done it often enough. Had to, as you might
say.'
'And
was it usual — I'm only quoting what I've read in history books — was it usual
for these people and their servants to push you off the pavement into the
gutter?'
'One
of 'em pushed me once,' said the old man. 'I recollect it as if it was
yesterday. It was Boat Race night — terribly rowdy they used to get on Boat
Race night — and I bumps into a young bloke on Shaftesbury Avenue. Quite a
gent, 'e was — dress shirt, top 'at, black overcoat. 'E was kind of zig-zagging
across the pavement, and I bumps into 'im accidental-like. 'E says, "Why
can't you look where you're going?" 'e says. I say, "Ju think you've
bought the bleeding pavement?" 'E says, "I'll twist your bloody 'ead
off if you get fresh with me." I says, "You're drunk. I'll give you
in charge in 'alf a minute," I says. An' if you'll believe me, 'e puts 'is
'and on my chest and gives me a shove as pretty near sent me under the wheels
of a bus. Well, I was young in them days, and I was going to 'ave fetched 'im
one, only-'
A
sense of helplessness took hold of Winston. The old man's memory was nothing
but a rubbish-heap of details. One could question him all day without getting
any real information. The party histories might still be true, after a fashion:
they might even be completely true. He made a last attempt.
'Perhaps
I have not made myself clear,' he said. 'What I'm trying to say is this. You
have been alive a very long time; you lived half your life before the
Revolution. In 1925, for instance, you were already grown up. Would you say
from what you can remember, that life in 1925 was better than it is now, or
worse? If you could choose, would you prefer to live then or now?'
The
old man looked meditatively at the darts board. He finished up his beer, more
slowly than before. When he spoke it was with a tolerant philosophical air, as
though the beer had mellowed him.
'I
know what you expect me to say,' he said. 'You expect me to say as I'd sooner
be young again. Most people'd say they'd sooner be young, if you arst' 'em. You
got your 'ealth and strength when you're young. When you get to my time of life
you ain't never well. I suffer something wicked from my feet, and my bladder's
jest terrible. Six and seven times a night it 'as me out of bed. On the other
'and, there's great advantages in being a old man. You ain't got the same
worries. No truck with women, and that's a great thing. I ain't 'ad a woman for
near on thirty year, if you'd credit it. Nor wanted to, what's more.'
Winston
sat back against the window-sill. It was no use going on. He was about to buy
some more beer when the old man suddenly got up and shuffled rapidly into the
stinking urinal at the side of the room. The extra half-litre was already working
on him. Winston sat for a minute or two gazing at his empty glass, and hardly
noticed when his feet carried him out into the street again. Within twenty
years at the most, he reflected, the huge and simple question, 'Was life better
before the Revolution than it is now?' would have ceased once and for all to be
answerable. But in effect it was unanswerable even now, since the few scattered
survivors from the ancient world were incapable of comparing one age with
another. They remembered a million useless things, a quarrel with a workmate, a
hunt for a lost bicycle pump, the expression on a long-dead sister's face, the
swirls of dust on a windy morning seventy years ago: but all the relevant facts
were outside the range of their vision. They were like the ant, which can see
small objects but not large ones. And when memory failed and written records
were falsified — when that happened, the claim of the Party to have improved
the conditions of human life had got to be accepted, because there did not
exist, and never again could exist, any standard against which it could be
tested.
At
this moment his train of thought stopped abruptly. He halted and looked up. He
was in a narrow street, with a few dark little shops, interspersed among
dwelling-houses. Immediately above his head there hung three discoloured metal
balls which looked as if they had once been gilded. He seemed to know the
place. Of course! He was standing outside the junk-shop where he had bought the
diary.
A
twinge of fear went through him. It had been a sufficiently rash act to buy the
book in the beginning, and he had sworn never to come near the place again. And
yet the instant that he allowed his thoughts to wander, his feet had brought
him back here of their own accord. It was precisely against suicidal impulses
of this kind that he had hoped to guard himself by opening the diary. At the
same time he noticed that although it was nearly twenty-one hours the shop was
still open. With the feeling that he would be less conspicuous inside than hanging
about on the pavement, he stepped through the doorway. If questioned, he could
plausibly say that he was trying to buy razor blades.
The
proprietor had just lighted a hanging oil lamp which gave off an unclean but
friendly smell. He was a man of perhaps sixty, frail and bowed, with a long,
benevolent nose, and mild eyes distorted by thick spectacles. His hair was
almost white, but his eyebrows were bushy and still black. His spectacles, his
gentle, fussy movements, and the fact that he was wearing an aged jacket of
black velvet, gave him a vague air of intellectuality, as though he had been
some kind of literary man, or perhaps a musician. His voice was soft, as though
faded, and his accent less debased than that of the majority of proles.
'I
recognized you on the pavement,' he said immediately. 'You're the gentleman
that bought the young lady's keepsake album. That was a beautiful bit of paper,
that was. Cream- laid, it used to be called. There's been no paper like that
made for — oh, I dare say fifty years.' He peered at Winston over the top of
his spectacles. 'Is there anything special I can do for you? Or did you just
want to look round?'
'I
was passing,' said Winston vaguely. 'I just looked in. I don't want anything in
particular.'
'It's
just as well,' said the other, 'because I don't suppose I could have satisfied
you.' He made an apologetic gesture with his softpalmed hand. 'You see how it
is; an empty shop, you might say. Between you and me, the antique trade's just
about finished. No demand any longer, and no stock either. Furniture, china,
glass it's all been broken up by degrees. And of course the metal stuff's
mostly been melted down. I haven't seen a brass candlestick in years.'
The
tiny interior of the shop was in fact uncomfortably full, but there was almost
nothing in it of the slightest value. The floorspace was very restricted,
because all round the walls were stacked innumerable dusty picture-frames. In
the window there were trays of nuts and bolts, worn-out chisels, penknives with
broken blades, tarnished watches that did not even pretend to be in going
order, and other miscellaneous rubbish. Only on a small table in the corner was
there a litter of odds and ends — lacquered snuffboxes, agate brooches, and the
like — which looked as though they might include something interesting. As
Winston wandered towards the table his eye was caught by a round, smooth thing
that gleamed softly in the lamplight, and he picked it up.
It
was a heavy lump of glass, curved on one side, flat on the other, making almost
a hemisphere. There was a peculiar softness, as of rainwater, in both the
colour and the texture of the glass. At the heart of it, magnified by the
curved surface, there was a strange, pink, convoluted object that recalled a
rose or a sea anemone.
'What
is it?' said Winston, fascinated.
'That's
coral, that is,' said the old man. 'It must have come from the Indian Ocean.
They used to kind of embed it in the glass. That wasn't made less than a
hundred years ago. More, by the look of it.'
'It's
a beautiful thing,' said Winston.
'It
is a beautiful thing,' said the other appreciatively. 'But there's not many
that'd say so nowadays.' He coughed. 'Now, if it so happened that you wanted to
buy it, that'd cost you four dollars. I can remember when a thing like that
would have fetched eight pounds, and eight pounds was — well, I can't work it
out, but it was a lot of money. But who cares about genuine antiques nowadays
even the few that's left?'
Winston
immediately paid over the four dollars and slid the coveted thing into his
pocket. What appealed to him about it was not so much its beauty as the air it
seemed to possess of belonging to an age quite different from the present one.
The soft, rainwatery glass was not like any glass that he had ever seen. The
thing was doubly attractive because of its apparent uselessness, though he
could guess that it must once have been intended as a paperweight. It was very
heavy in his pocket, but fortunately it did not make much of a bulge. It was a
queer thing, even a compromising thing, for a Party member to have in his
possession. Anything old, and for that matter anything beautiful, was always
vaguely suspect. The old man had grown noticeably more cheerful after receiving
the four dollars. Winston realized that he would have accepted three or even
two.
'There's
another room upstairs that you might care to take a look at,' he said. 'There's
not much in it. Just a few pieces. We'll do with a light if we're going
upstairs.'
He
lit another lamp, and, with bowed back, led the way slowly up the steep and
worn stairs and along a tiny passage, into a room which did not give on the
street but looked out on a cobbled yard and a forest of chimney-pots. Winston
noticed that the furniture was still arranged as though the room were meant to
be lived in. There was a strip of carpet on the floor, a picture or two on the
walls, and a deep, slatternly arm-chair drawn up to the fireplace. An
old-fashioned glass clock with a twelve-hour face was ticking away on the
mantelpiece. Under the window, and occupying nearly a quarter of the room, was
an enormous bed with the mattress still on it.
'We
lived here till my wife died,' said the old man half apologetically. 'I'm
selling the furniture off by little and little. Now that's a beautiful mahogany
bed, or at least it would be if you could get the bugs out of it. But I dare
say you'd find it a little bit cumbersome.
He
was holdlng the lamp high up, so as to illuminate the whole room, and in the
warm dim light the place looked curiously inviting. The thought flitted through
Winston's mind that it would probably be quite easy to rent the room for a few
dollars a week, if he dared to take the risk. It was a wild, impossible notion,
to be abandoned as soon as thought of; but the room had awakened in him a sort
of nostalgia, a sort of ancestral memory. It seemed to him that he knew exactly
what it felt like to sit in a room like this, in an arm-chair beside an open
fire with your feet in the fender and a kettle on the hob; utterly alone,
utterly secure, with nobody watching you, no voice pursuing you, no sound
except the singing of the kettle and the friendly ticking of the clock.
'There's
no telescreen!' he could not help murmuring.
'Ah,'
said the old man, 'I never had one of those things. Too expensive. And I never
seemed to feel the need of it, somehow. Now that's a nice gateleg table in the
corner there. Though of course you'd have to put new hinges on it if you wanted
to use the flaps.'
There
was a small bookcase in the other corner, and Winston had already gravitated
towards it. It contained nothing but rubbish. The hunting-down and destruction
of books had been done with the same thoroughness in the prole quarters as
everywhere else. It was very unlikely that there existed anywhere in Oceania a copy
of a book printed earlier than 1960. The old man, still carrying the lamp, was
standing in front of a picture in a rosewood frame which hung on the other side
of the fireplace, opposite the bed.
'Now,
if you happen to be interested in old prints at all -' he began delicately.
Winston
came across to examine the picture. It was a steel engraving of an oval
building with rectangular windows, and a small tower in front. There was a
railing running round the building, and at the rear end there was what appeared
to be a statue. Winston gazed at it for some moments. It seemed vaguely
familiar, though he did not remember the statue.
'The
frame's fixed to the wall,' said the old man, 'but I could unscrew it for you,
I dare say.'
'I
know that building,' said Winston finally. 'It's a ruin now. It's in the middle
of the street outside the Palace of Justice.'
'That's
right. Outside the Law Courts. It was bombed in — oh, many years ago. It was a
church at one time, St Clement's Danes, its name was.' He smiled apologetically,
as though conscious of saying something slightly ridiculous, and added:
'Oranges and lemons, say the bells of St Clement's!'
'What's
that?' said Winston.
'Oh-"Oranges
and lemons, say the bells of St Clement's." That was a rhyme we had when I
was a little boy. How it goes on I don't remember, but I do know it ended up,
"Here comes a candle to light you to bed, Here comes a chopper to chop off
your head." It was a kind of a dance. They held out their arms for you to
pass under, and when they came to "Here comes a chopper to chop off your
head" they brought their arms down and caught you. It was just names of
churches. All the London churches were in it — all the principal ones, that
is.'
Winston
wondered vaguely to what century the church belonged. It was always difficult
to determine the age of a London building. Anything large and impressive, if it
was reasonably new in appearance, was automatically claimed as having been
built since the Revolution, while anything that was obviously of earlier date was
ascribed to some dim period called the Middle Ages. The centuries of capitalism
were held to have produced nothing of any value. One could not learn history
from architecture any more than one could learn it from books. Statues,
inscriptions, memorial stones, the names of streets — anything that might throw
light upon the past had been systematically altered.
'I
never knew it had been a church,' he said.
'There's
a lot of them left, really,' said the old man, 'though they've been put to
other uses. Now, how did that rhyme go? Ah! I've got it!
"Oranges
and lemons, say the bells of St Clement's,
You
owe me three farthings, say the bells of St Martin's
—
"there, now, that's as far as I can get.
A
farthing, that was a small copper coin,
looked
something like a cent.'
'Where
was St Martin's?' said Winston.
'St
Martin's? That's still standing. It's in Victory Square, alongside the picture
gallery. A building with a kind of a triangular porch and pillars in front, and
a big flight of steps.'
Winston
knew the place well. It was a museum used for propaganda displays of various
kinds — scale models of rocket bombs and Floating Fortresses, waxwork tableaux
illustrating enemy atrocities, and the like.
'St
Martin's-in-the-Fields it used to be called,' supplemented the old man, 'though
I don't recollect any fields anywhere in those parts.'
Winston
did not buy the picture. It would have been an even more incongruous
possession than the glass paperweight, and impossible to carry home, unless it
were taken out of its frame. But he lingered for some minutes more, talking to
the old man, whose name, he discovered, was not Weeks-as one might have
gathered from the inscription over the shop-front — but Charrington. Mr
Charrington, it
seemed, was a widower aged sixty-three and had inhabited this shop for thirty
years. Throughout that time he had been intending to alter the name over the
window, but had never quite got to the point of doing it. All the while that
they were talking the half-remembered rhyme kept running through Winston's
head. Oranges and lemons say the bells of St Clement's, You owe me three
farthings, say the bells of St Martin's! It was curious, but when you said it
to yourself you had the illusion of actually hearing bells, the bells of a lost
London that still existed somewhere or other, disguised and forgotten. From one
ghostly steeple after another he seemed to hear them pealing forth. Yet so far
as he could remember he had never in real life heard church bells ringing.
He
got away from Mr Charrington and went down the stairs alone, so as not to let
the old man see him reconnoitring the street before stepping out of the door.
He had already made up his mind that after a suitable interval — a month, say —
he would take the risk of visiting the shop again. It was perhaps not more
dangerous than shirking an evening at the Centre. The serious piece of folly
had been to come back here in the first place, after buying the diary and
without knowing whether the proprietor of the shop could be trusted. However-!
Yes,
he thought again, he would come back. He would buy further scraps of beautiful
rubbish. He would buy the engraving of St Clement's Danes, take it out of its
frame, and carry it home concealed under the jacket of his overalls. He would
drag the rest of that poem out of Mr Charrington's memory. Even the lunatic
project of renting the room upstairs flashed momentarily through his mind
again. For perhaps five seconds exaltation made him careless, and he stepped
out on to the pavement without so much as a preliminary glance through the
window. He had even started humming to an improvised tune
Oranges
and lemons, say the bells of St Clement's, You owe me three farthings, say the
Suddenly
his heart seemed to turn to ice and his bowels to water. A figure in blue
overalls was coming down the pavement, not ten metres away. It was the girl
from the Fiction Department, the girl with dark hair. The light was failing,
but there was no difficulty in recognizing her. She looked him straight in the
face, then walked quickly on as though she had not seen him.
For
a few seconds Winston was too paralysed to move. Then he turned to the right
and walked heavily away, not noticing for the moment that he was going in the
wrong direction. At any rate, one question was settled. There was no doubting
any longer that the girl was spying on him. She must have followed him here,
because it was not credible that by pure chance she should have happened to be
walking on the same evening up the same obscure backstreet, kilometres distant from
any quarter where Party members lived. It was too great a coincidence. Whether
she was really an agent of the Thought Police, or simply an amateur spy
actuated by officiousness, hardly mattered. It was enough that she was watching
him. Probably she had seen him go into the pub as well.
It
was an effort to walk. The lump of glass in his pocket banged against his thigh
at each step, and he was half minded to take it out and throw it away. The
worst thing was the pain in his belly. For a couple of minutes he had the
feeling that he would die if he did not reach a lavatory soon. But there would
be no public lavatories in a quarter like this. Then the spasm passed, leaving
a dull ache behind.
The
street was a blind alley. Winston halted, stood for several seconds wondering
vaguely what to do, then turned round and began to retrace his steps. As he
turned it occurred to him that the girl had only passed him three minutes ago
and that by running he could probably catch up with her. He could keep on her
track till they were in some quiet place, and then smash her skull in with a
cobblestone. The piece of glass in his pocket would be heavy enough for the
job. But he abandoned the idea immediately, because even the thought of making
any physical effort was unbearable. He could not run, he could not strike a
blow. Besides, she was young and lusty and would defend herself. He thought
also of hurrying to the Community Centre and staying there till the place
closed, so as to establish a partial alibi for the evening. But that too was
impossible. A deadly lassitude had taken hold of him. All he wanted was to get
home quickly and then sit down and be quiet.
It
was after twenty-two hours when he got back to the flat. The lights would be
switched off at the main at twenty-three thirty. He went into the kitchen and
swallowed nearly a teacupful of Victory Gin. Then he went to the table in the
alcove, sat down, and took the diary out of the drawer. But he did not open it
at once. From the telescreen a brassy female voice was squalling a patriotic
song. He sat staring at the marbled cover of the book, trying without success
to shut the voice out of his consciousness.
It
was at night that they came for you, always at night. The proper thing was to
kill yourself before they got you. Undoubtedly some people did so. Many of the
disappearances were actually suicides. But it needed desperate courage to kill
yourself in a world where firearms, or any quick and certain poison, were
completely unprocurable. He thought with a kind of astonishment of the
biological uselessness of pain and fear, the treachery of the human body which
always freezes into inertia at exactly the moment when a special effort is
needed. He might have silenced the dark-haired girl if only he had acted
quickly enough: but precisely because of the extremity of his danger he had
lost the power to act. It struck him that in moments of crisis one is never
fighting against an external enemy, but always against one's own body. Even
now, in spite of the gin, the dull ache in his belly made consecutive thought
impossible. And it is the same, he perceived, in all seemingly heroic or tragic
situations. On the battlefield, in the torture chamber, on a sinking ship, the
issues that you are fighting for are always forgotten, because the body swells
up until it fills the universe, and even when you are not paralysed by fright
or screaming with pain, life is a moment-to-moment struggle against hunger or
cold or sleeplessness, against a sour stomach or an aching tooth.
He
opened the diary. It was important to write something down. The woman on the
telescreen had started a new song. Her voice seemed to stick into his brain
like jagged splinters of glass. He tried to think of O'Brien, for whom, or to
whom, the diary was written, but instead he began thinking of the things that
would happen to him after the Thought Police took him away. It would not matter
if they killed you at once. To be killed was what you expected. But before
death (nobody spoke of such things, yet everybody knew of them) there was the
routine of confession that had to be gone through: the grovelling on the floor
and screaming for mercy, the crack of broken bones, the smashed teeth, and
bloody clots of hair.
Why
did you have to endure it, since the end was always the same? Why was it not
possible to cut a few days or weeks out of your life? Nobody ever escaped
detection, and nobody ever failed to confess. When once you had succumbed to
thought crime it was certain that by a given date you would be dead. Why then
did that horror, which altered nothing, have to lie embedded in future time?
He
tried with a little more success than before to summon up the image of O'Brien.
'We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness,' O'Brien had said to
him. He knew what it meant, or thought he knew. The place where there is no
darkness was the imagined future, which one would never see, but which, by
foreknowledge, one could mystically share in. But with the voice from the
telescreen nagging at his ears he could not follow the train of thought
further. He put a cigarette in his mouth. Half the tobacco promptly fell out on
to his tongue, a bitter dust which was difficult to spit out again. The face of
Big Brother swam into his mind, displacing that of O'Brien. Just as he had done
a few days earlier, he slid a coin out of his pocket and looked at it. The face
gazed up at him, heavy, calm, protecting: but what kind of smile was hidden
beneath the dark moustache? Like a leaden knell the words came back at him:
WAR
IS PEACE
FREEDOM
IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE
IS STRENGTH
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