Nov 9, 2024

The Meaning of Life is Not Happiness

Todd Hayen

I can’t tell you the number of times every day I hear from clients in my practice, “All I want is to be happy.” And they don’t know why they are not happy, they claim to be healthy, to have a good family, a good job that pays them lots of money, and a good marriage.

Other than the usual ins and outs of life they really have nothing to complain about—but they are not happy.

I then ask them if they think there is meaning in their life or purpose, invariably they say “No.” Sometimes they ask, “What is that? Isn’t the meaning and purpose in life to be happy?”

No, it is not.

Happiness is only one of the many states of being we encounter in a whole and complete life, and if we become unhappy simply because we think we are not happy as often as we believe we should be, we have missed the point.

We have been on this “happiness” kick for quite some time, and once again I have to say I think it is part of the agenda—maybe originally an unconscious part of a movement in society to focus on acquiring “things.” But that has always been a central part of the formula in the agenda’s effort to control.

Again, maybe it was an organic result of our natural tendency to focus on the flesh—the physical attributes of living through the senses, and an innate desire to “instantly gratify” those senses at any opportunity offered. Check out Huxley’s Brave New World for a view of a dystopian culture in the future that focuses entirely on the satisfaction of primal urges through the senses. Huxley had it figured out almost 100 years ago.

There have been scads of books written on happiness. Most of them conclude that the pursuit of happiness through the acquisition of physical objects (consumerism) is a dead-end pursuit, and, like a shot of heroin, will send you on a high for a moment that quickly wears off. Most people have some idea of this and understand that obsessive consumerism is typically a road to oblivion.

But again, a lot of people have not figured this out yet (need I say “young people?”), considering our entire society is based on consumerism. Try getting away from it for even 10 minutes. If you don’t go out into the woods or barren desert with no cell phone, you won’t be able to. That is about the only way to detach yourself from the world that is trying to entice you to consume.

So, even if we could remove the curse of consumerism and instant gratification from our lives, wouldn’t our central pursuit still be the state of happiness?—continual happiness? Yes, typically it would be. Even deep spiritual interventions have the goal of happiness—if you are one with God, or Jesus, or Mohammed, you will be happy. Shouldn’t the word “happy” be replaced with “content” or even “peace?” It certainly should be, because that is what I believe most of the religious traditions mean by the word “happiness.” “Contentment” and “peace” have very different meanings to “happy.”

If we are fully enlightened, are we even allowed to be happy? Of course, we are. Being happy is one of the most precious gifts of being a living creature. Should we expect to be happy all of the time? No, of course not. That would be a curse. Should we expect to be content or at peace all of the time? Yes, I believe that is indeed possible and should be a goal we all strive to attain.

I spent a large part of my life studying the works of Ernest Holmes and The Science of Mind. I studied Phineas Quimby, Emma Curtis Hopkins, Joel Goldsmith and others as well. The surface level of what I gleaned from this study was to “think positively”—to avoid focusing on darkness in the world and see only God’s love and beauty as reality.

What is found in the depth of these philosophies is quite a different matter. I will not go into this in this article as it would take a book to even begin to explain what I mean. Suffice it to say that the true message behind all of this is that the material world is a manifestation of our thought and consciousness—and is not the only reality.

However, my view is that as long as we are in the material form, living in a material creation, we have to encounter the manifestation of evil, darkness, and suffering—not ignore it. Part of our purpose and meaning in this world is to deal with everything we encounter, not turn away from any of it. Therefore, for a large portion of our lives, we may not be happy.

Dealing with darkness is not typically a happy endeavour, however, it doesn’t mean we cannot be at peace and be content when we are dealing with it. Darkness, suffering, and pain are but an “appearance”—an illusion—in the material realm. Through this illusion, we may even find meaning, and purpose, as we deal with the darker sides of life and existence.

Viktor Frankl, an Austrian psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor offered a profound critique of the view that happiness is the ultimate meaning of life. In his seminal work, Man’s Search for Meaning, Frankl argued that life’s true meaning is found not in the pursuit of happiness but in the pursuit of meaning. Having survived the horrors of concentration camps, Frankl observed that those who endured suffering and still found a reason to live, did so by finding a sense of purpose, not by chasing happiness. He developed the concept of “logotherapy,” a therapeutic approach that emphasizes the human desire to find meaning in life, even in the most challenging circumstances.

Frankl believed that humans are not driven primarily by the search for pleasure or happiness, but by the need to find meaning in their experiences. He argued that people can endure tremendous suffering if they have a sense of purpose to guide them.

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how,” Frankl wrote, quoting Nietzsche. According to Frankl, meaning can be found in work, love, suffering, and even in facing death. Happiness, in his view, is not something to be pursued directly; rather, it ensues when individuals live in alignment with their values and pursue meaning.

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, the Russian writer and dissident who chronicled the horrors of the Soviet Gulag, similarly questioned the notion that happiness is life’s primary objective. In his works, such as The Gulag Archipelago and One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich, Solzhenitsyn explored themes of suffering, totalitarian oppression, and the human capacity for endurance. Like Frankl, Solzhenitsyn saw meaning in suffering and responsibility rather than in the pursuit of happiness.

Solzhenitsyn argued that life is about more than personal joy or comfort. In his famous Harvard Commencement Address in 1978, he critiqued the West’s focus on materialism and individual happiness, warning that such pursuits could lead to moral and spiritual decay.

Solzhenitsyn believed that humanity’s purpose lay in the moral and spiritual development of the soul, not in the pursuit of happiness or worldly success. According to him, suffering could serve as a catalyst for this growth, offering individuals the opportunity to transcend their immediate desires and connect with deeper values such as truth, justice, and personal responsibility.

Solzhenitsyn’s view is particularly striking in his emphasis on responsibility. He believed that in the face of evil and injustice, individuals must take responsibility for their actions and decisions. A life well-lived, in his view, involves moral courage and a willingness to confront suffering and injustice rather than seeking comfort or happiness at all costs.

Wonder where I am going with this? I don’t think you have to wonder very long. I have heard again and again from those whom I love that I spend too much time “looking for bad things” that I am too interested in the wars, in suffering, in the deaths from the vaccines, in starving children. They claim that I need to give up on all of this and just enjoy what I have, the good life, the sunshine, the company of those whom I love—to be happy.

First of all, I cannot imagine turning my back on the world like that. Secondly, I am happy. In a strange way, my work which does focus on a lot of “bad” things brings me peace and contentment. My belief in God and in the beauty of physical existence—nature, art, music and love, to name a few of the things that God brings to this world through our consciousness, are always forefront of my mind.

The evil and ugliness are illusions nestled in those other realities.

Yes, they limit our expressive creation, so they must be faced and dealt with. Every choice we make to see love in the world despite the hate we first face, is an act of Christ Consciousness—turning the hate that we see into the love we know sits behind it, is a truly meaningful pursuit. What could make a person happier?

Todd Hayen PhD is a registered psychotherapist practicing in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He holds a PhD in depth psychotherapy and an MA in Consciousness Studies. He specializes in Jungian, archetypal, psychology. Todd also writes for his own substack, which you can read here