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Top ten new stories the day after the election |
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(To read about Jon's mega-collection, Exit From The Matrix, click here.)
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Top ten news stories the day after the election
By Jon Rappoport
One: President Clinton Announces Divorce---
"President Hillary Clinton had divorced her husband, Bill
Clinton, several months ago, it was revealed today. And now it appears
she has married Gary Johnson, Libertarian candidate, who accrued seven
percent of the popular vote---the exact margin of President Hillary's
victory over Donald Trump..."
Two: Newly elected President Hillary will appoint the Clinton Foundation to the post of Secretary of State---
"Why should I veer from a successful strategy," the new
President said. "The Foundation has more connections, and is owed more
favors, than any individual on the planet. It owes favors, too, but we
get lots of money for that."
Three: President Hillary will have a mechanical voice box connected to Monsanto-owned computer---
Four: President Hillary declares war---
"I haven't decided on the target yet, but it's coming soon.
We may do it as a lottery. A bunch of ping pong balls with countries'
names on them. At this point, what difference does it make?"
Five: President Hillary announces Hunger Games in inner cities---
"Huge numbers of immigrants coming across the border and
residents of US inner cities will battle it out for available jobs," she
said. "And I'll help send more US factories to the Third World, too. We
have to think of those people in faraway nations. They need work. "
Six: President Hillary taps gal pal Huma Abedin as next Attorney General---
"Huma is as close to me as any person on Earth," she said.
"Huma will do right by all the oppressed of this nation. You go, girl,
or whatever the correct phrase is now."
Seven: President Hillary prepares mosquito Secret Service detail---
"These are genetically engineered insects," she said.
"They're designed to stop plants from producing pollen. It's for my
allergies. Wherever I go, the pollen count will drop. After all, I'm now
the leader of the free world."
Eight: President Hillary loves everyone---
"I love all people, but I'm a ballbuster as well. You need
both. I'll be shutting down several media...what was I going to...I
can't remember. Osama stole the election from me in 2008...I'm meeting
with Putin next month and that'll be something. Watch out. We cannot
permit Indonesia to hack into US government emails. Which medicine did I
just take? Goddammit, I've got people to keep the bottles straight!
Where are they? Screwing their brains out in some hotel room?"
Nine: President Hillary vows to elevate women---
"What the former president for black people, that's what I'm
going to do for women now," she said, laughing without pause for two
minutes "If I had a daughter, she'd look like...we don't have the girl
picked out yet, but when something bad happens to her, we'll move on it.
We'll roll."
Ten: President Hillary denies Clinton body count---
"Look, everything is connected to everything, so you could
make any crime connect to anybody. We're all in this together. America
unified. Level playing field. More love, less hate. So don't blame me if
you end up face down in a landfill."
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Use this link to order Jon's Matrix Collections.
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Jon Rappoport
The
author of three explosive collections, THE MATRIX REVEALED, EXIT FROM
THE MATRIX, and POWER OUTSIDE THE MATRIX, Jon was a candidate for a US
Congressional seat in the 29th District of California. He maintains a
consulting practice for private clients, the purpose of which is the
expansion of personal creative power. Nominated for a Pulitzer Prize, he
has worked as an investigative reporter for 30 years, writing articles
on politics, medicine, and health for CBS Healthwatch, LA Weekly, Spin
Magazine, Stern, and other newspapers and magazines in the US and
Europe. Jon has delivered lectures and seminars on global politics,
health, logic, and creative power to audiences around the world.
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