Naturally, in the wake of the Planned Parenthood shooting, Obama
made another call for gun confiscation. Any one of us could have
written his speech. Very predictable.
But suppose, seized with a desire to tell more of the truth, he gave the following speech instead:
"Hi, folks, this is your President, making the clubhouse turn in my
two-terms as your esteemed leader. I've decided I want some props for
what I've
really been doing in office, as opposed to what some of you
think I've been doing. Therefore, let's go to the subject of guns.
"This Planned Parenthood shooting? Do you actually believe this is the
only recent event I could have seized on to promote my agenda? Wow.
Come on. What's wrong with you folks? For example, I've got a story
right here from Reuters, dated November 28, about the arrest of a
suspect in a New Orleans blow-up. Let me read a few lines.
'A suspect in a shooting at a New Orleans park last Sunday that wounded
17 people is in police custody, authorities said on Saturday. The
suspect, Joseph "Moe" Allen, 32, has declined to give detectives a
statement, the New Orleans Police Department said in a Twitter post.
Police on Friday named Allen a suspect in the shooting at the Bunny
Friend Playground. Police have said gunfire erupted on Sunday between
two groups when hundreds of people gathered at an unauthorized block
party and for the filming of an impromptu music video. Police have said
the shooting appeared to be gang-related. One of the victims is 10
years old and most of those injured were young, they said. Authorities
plan to charge Allen with 17 counts of attempted first-degree murder.
Police said on Friday he is believed to be one of several suspects
involved in the shoot-out.'
"That's a good one, right? Seventeen counts of attempted first-degree
murder. Why haven't I mentioned that one? Now, I know what some of you
are going to say---the suspect is black, some of the victims are gang
members, and I don't want to publicize black crime.
"But you're missing the subtle point. Screw in your brains real tight
to understand this. The official narrative about black crime is that
it's caused by, let's call it the
environment in inner
cities---and of course, racism. Right? Well, if I highlighted the
suspect in the New Orleans shooting, I'd be disturbing that narrative,
see? Suddenly I'd be changing it to: this guy is horrible and let's
take away all the guns, including those in the inner cities. I'm not
about to do that.
"Let me go over that again, for those of you who are dim bulbs. Let me
boil it down. Crazy lone white guy with a gun spraying bullets around?
That equals blame, guilt, mental illness, and therefore, take all the
guns away. Black guy with a gun spraying bullets all around? That
equals 'we have to do something about conditions in the inner cities'
and racism. Does that make things a little clearer?
"There are different narratives for different situations. It's nothing
personal, it's just business. So don't get your panties in a twist.
Relax.
"Instead of the shooter at Planned Parenthood, I could have given a
speech about yet another situation. Can you guess what it is?
Chicago. Do you know that the tally of gunshot victims in Chicago, so
far in 2015, is 2,724? Wow. Pretty wild, right? Can you guess that
most of these victims are black, and that most of the shooters are
black? But all those folks fit into a different narrative on a national
level. They don't become the poster children for 'take away all the
guns from everybody.' They just don't. For that message, I need one
white shooter going nuts in Colorado.
"This is how the game works. Why can't you see that? Plus, and this is
something you should keep quiet, I don't want to draw too much
attention to the inner cities and their problems, because then it would
come out that all these Globalist trade treaties gutted jobs in those
areas---and of course I'm the number one proponent in the world for
trade treaties, like the TPP, the one that's coming up for a vote now.
"Oops. But again, this is all about the cost of doing business. In
this case, I mean my business, because I was put in office to move
Globalism forward. Can't you grasp that? Why is this such a mystery?
How naïve can you people be?
"I certainly wasn't put in office to 'extend equality,' whatever that's
supposed to mean. That was just the cover story. Come on, get with
it. Look at the American landscape these days. Do you see more
equality?
"I know this may be hard to swallow, but things are worse in the inner
cities...and wait for it, I've given up on the inner cities. They're
good for one thing: creating unrest and violence. That's it. So
regardless of what I'm saying about black lives, how much do they really
matter to me? I mean, look, I could have forwarded just one item for
the past seven years---the growing of food in vast empty lots, urban
food gardens and farms, and with that one program I could have done more
good for those folks than anything I've been generalizing about. Don't
you think I know that? I'm a smart guy. Think of it---three thousand,
four thousand flourishing food gardens in the inner cities of America.
I could have done that. It would have been a real revolution called
self-sufficiency. Good clean food for all. But I didn't do that. Why
not?
"Like every other American President, I'm an agenda guy. I have my
agendas on a silver platter that's handed to me and I go with that.
Different narratives for different agendas. It's actually pretty
simple.
"We, the people who run the day-to-day stuff for the real power
players...we don't want self-sufficiency. We want dependence on the
government. That's our job, to foster that. I can give away cell
phones like there's no tomorrow, but I can't promote, with vigor, one
urban farm in an inner city. That's just the way it is. And to be
frank, guns and shootings in inner cities do, in fact, promote
dependency, because what else do those residents have to fall back on,
in their dreams, when bullets are whistling around their heads?
"This isn't rocket science. This is Clinton, Bush, me, and every other
President. We're in the political party which, if it had a name, would
be called: the screw-things-up-worse party. On purpose. Make chaos,
then bring in tighter order. Everybody should know that by now.
"And as far as guns are concerned, we need enough of them on the streets
in the hands of people who want to fire them, so we can keep the pot
boiling. Honestly, isn't that as obvious as the nose on your face?
"Anyhow, that's all for the moment, I have to get back to the Climate
Change summit. Or as I call it, the Spare Change Summit, about 50
trillion dollars of it, diverted from some to others, and in the process
making regular folks all over the planet worse off than they are now,
because total energy production will drop like a stone when we have our
way. This isn't an accident or a miscalculation, in case you're
laboring under yet another delusion. This is an agenda designed to do
what it does. Get it? I hope so. For once, I'd like to be recognized
for what I'm actually doing, instead of for my public persona.
"But maybe that's too much to ask for. By the way, stop writing me
asking for winter coats. It's warm, warm, warm everywhere, even when
it's cold.
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