June 8, 3000. Press Briefing from the FREEDOM TRUST.
Subject: Origins of the VID Church.
ONE:
Worldwide, the VID Church has nearly 500 million members. Its two main
practices are mask wearing and selective distancing. Our TRUST
scholars have traced these practices to the early years of the 21st
Century.
TWO: Until now, it has been thought that anonymity and
self-effacement were the roots of the VID practices. But new research
has uncovered startling details.
THREE: In or about 2016,
fear-inducing propaganda about an epidemic was broadcast across the
world. The reputed cause of disease was a purported virus. As we now
know, most of these particles are artifacts of laboratory tests, or
beneficial carriers of waste products from cells. But in those ancient
days, viruses were portrayed as dire threats.
FOUR: In 2016, and
for some two decades moving forward, the so-called epidemic and the
purported virus were called COVID. Eventually, the label was shortened
to VID.
FIVE: Cults of the VID proliferated. The masks and the
distancing were "scientific" superstitions, whose purpose was
containment of the virus.
SIX: The cults eventually coalesced
into a religion and a unified church. Its early leaders were
politicians and graduates of social science university programs. A
priest class emerged. Initially, the deities of VID were a mysterious
group about which little is known. They were called the Culture
Cancelers. Apparently, there was a movement among VID adherents to
erase all history.
SEVEN: At the New York Summit of VID, in
2067, a ruling council replaced those gods with the entity named OV.
His "master script" was introduced. Briefly, it commanded all church
members to "seek self-sacrifice on behalf of The Greater Poverty." Thus
began the building of the cathedrals, in which many members enlisted.
EIGHT:
Our TRUST scholars have discovered, in an underground bunker in the old
Virginia, a treasure trove of documents describing the fictional COVID
virus and its supposed infective properties.
NINE: Among these
documents are startling files revealing a multilayered propaganda
campaign carried out in the early decades of the 21st century, by public
health agencies, the Chinese government, international scientists, and
the press. The deceptive campaign was engineered, at the highest
levels, with a conscious intent to falsely claim the existence of a
novel virus and its deadly effects.
TEN: In these documents, there were many references to the "manipulation of case numbers."
ELEVEN:
An entity called "Bill and Melinda" was heavily involved in promoting
the virus and the need for medical injections designed to prevent it
from infecting humans.
TWELVE: We have secured the services of
the law firm, Crowe, Farber, Kaufman, and Cowan, to handle any actions
directed against us by VID leaders.
THIRTEEN: We are aware that
some press outlets, under the control of VID, may choose to distort this
vital story. We will deal with those matters in the courts.
FOURTEEN:
Time and time again, aversion to the truth in high places has caused
humanity to suffer grave injustices. We urge all people of good will to
support honest research and the reformation of our educational
institutions. Our goal, as always, is freedom of the individual.
The
New York Times, June 18, 3000. GROUP SEEKS TO UNDERMINE VID CHURCH.
In an effort that scholars and historians are calling "unsupported and
vengeful," a major Trust has launched a campaign to smear the global VID
Church.
VID Church Pope, Shana Biden Sulzberger, has issued a
rarely used proclamation, called a PCR, against the FREEDOM TRUST. This
PCR is an order for all Church members to boycott the TRUST and its
assets.
Pope Sulzberger has also broadcast a clarion call for law suits to be filed against the TRUST.
Harvard
Chair of Archeology, Sir Robert Birx, has declared the TRUST findings
"old tired charges that are being recycled, in an obvious attempt to
defame poverty as way of life for the masses..."
President Mike
Trumpa stated in yesterday's White House press conference, "There are
some great people in the VID Church. One of my companies helped build
their Cathedral of St. Anthony in Atlantic City, and Church members were
on board from day one, digging trenches and laying pipe. They made it
possible for us to bring in the project on time and under budget..."
It's
hard to fathom why the TRUST is even interested in the VID origins.
But stepping out of line isn't new for its agitators. Over the past
decade, its lawyers have launched numerous suits against the press and
social media companies for illegal censorship. In every case, the
principle of non-obligation has prevailed. No corporation is required
to report the truth. Therefore, omission or censorship is also
permitted.
NBC/CBS NEWS, June 18, 3000. Our parent company, a
subsidiary of the VID Church, is filing suit against the FREEDOM TRUST
for defamation, stemming from egregiously false claims the TRUST has
made about the origins of VID.
In fact, VID, as a movement, grew
out of a 2040 revelation, given to an unknown man from a group called
CDC, in the foothills of Mt. Whitney, un the form of a visitation from
an angel who called herself "the VID Seer." The angel spoke of a new
sacrifice "which will be the surrender of money." Thus, a Church came
into being.
This coming week, the Church begins its annual
three-day Isolation Sacrifice. Members retreat from their familiar
surroundings and conceal themselves in forests, wastelands, and deserted
towns, where they wrap themselves in plastic sheets and breathe as
little air as possible. Recent studies suggest this practice has a
detoxifying effect, when combined with ingested pharmaceutical
glyphosate.
The US National Institutes of Health is partnering
with the VID Church to explore the psychological benefits of embracing
poverty and rejecting all forms of profit.
A Church-sponsored
federal bill, SB4539, would, if approved, increase the percentage of
government-owned US companies from 70 percent to 92 percent. The
mandate would also require every such company to appoint its CEO or
president from a list of federal employees.
VID Pope Sulzberger
states, "This is all about the evolution of humanity. At one time in
our dark past, we believed that the sheer invention of any threat, even
if imaginary, was acceptable, as long as it produced greater central
control over the population. But we've finally come to understand that
the population wants to be controlled. No pretext is necessary. The
people want to accept poverty, as a spiritual way of life. That's why
the Church has endured. If we have an enemy now, it is groups like the
FREEDOM TRUST. Their constant braying about liberty is anti-human. It
represents the worst of the irresponsible impulses. These 'freedom
persons' must be given a serum of truth, so they can join the rest of us
who work for a just future..."
Pope Sulzberger recently married
her third husband, Bill Greats, once known, in the business community,
as the "prince of pharmaceutical mergers." Mr. Greats has converted all
his assets into non-profit charities organized within the VID Church.
The most famous of these is the Buffet Ice Cream Cone Group, dedicated
to raising funds for the US Treasury Department. Mr. Greats is
currently sponsoring a study conducted by the Redfield Consortium,
titled, "Eliminating Competition in Chimpanzee Communities: Implications
for Human Engineering and Spiritual Consonance."
The Pope and
her husband are currently residing in Colorado, where she enjoys hiking,
and studies the ancient art of slam-dancing.
PRELIMINARY HEARING, 1ST FEDERAL COURT OF CLAIMS, WASHINGTON DC. Attorneys for the FREEDOM TRUST and the VID CHURCH.
Judge:
At the moment, the Church and the Trust are suing each other. We want
to resolve that issue. We're also here, in private session, to consider
a document the Trust wants to present in open court. Mr. Crowe, for
the Trust, why don't you speak first?
Crowe: The document, Your
Honor, was published by an ancient newspaper, The Washington Crimes. It
is dated May 9th, 2020, and headlined, "Some Governors Insist on
Masks." Our researchers discovered the original, on paper, sealed in a
container in a cellar below a house in the District. We've had two
independent authorities confirm its age and authenticity. I'll read the
article's opening paragraph from my notes, and then make a short
comment.
"Some governors are re-opening their states' economies,
but they insist that people wear masks in public, to prevent
transmission of the SARS-CoV-2 virus, the cause of the COVID-19
pandemic. Public health experts state that masks and social distancing,
along with lockdowns, are the only preventive measures that can help
stem the tide of cases, until a vaccine arrives."
This paragraph,
and the rest of the article, make it clear that there was, in those
days, a purported pandemic called COVID, and mask wearing and distancing
were prominent features of the response. We will make the case that
the origins of the VID Church grew out of this ancient episode. The
Church was built on, and evolved from, a scientific hoax.
Judge:
I'm going to put aside, for now, the question of authenticity of this
document. I want to hear what the Church has to say. Bishop Bernays,
what would your position be, if this document is real?
Bishop
Bernays: The document would create chaos in the Church, among our
members. We would therefore raise the stakes in court. No so-called
document should be permitted to tear a Church asunder. The very
stability of society is suddenly up for grabs. And once the document is
made public, there is no putting the devil back in the bottle.
Judge: Would the Church be willing to withdraw its suit against the Trust and settle the Trust's suit against you for damages?
Bishop Bernays: If and only if the document in question is destroyed. That is my opinion at the moment. Frankly, I'm stunned.
Judge: Mr. Crowe?
Crowe: We want full disclosure. We would not settle.
Judge: A higher authority is going to have to adjudicate this matter. I'm stunned as well. The question is: which authority?
Bishop Bernays: Sir, this is a religious issue. Not for a government to decide.
Judge: Meaning?
Bishop Bernays: We place it before God.
Judge: Which God?
Bishop Bernays: Ours. OV.
Judge: And how would that be done?
Bishop Bernays: Our Pope would conduct a rare ceremony called Antibody Diagnostic. It establishes a direct connection to OV.
Crowe: Absurd. Shall I count the ways?
Judge: You know, I can have the document destroyed. I can declare it a threat to National Security.
Bishop Bernays: The Church would accede to secular authority on that basis.
Crowe:
I didn't come here today unprepared. The Trust has other similar
documents. All originals. They are in safe storage, in locations
around the world.
Judge: What do you want, Mr. Crowe?
Crowe: The truth. That's all.
Judge:
I'm declaring a recess. This is a global Church we're talking about,
with 500 million members. Will you briefly pause your crusade, Mr.
Crowe?
Crowe: Yes, sir.
Judge: Both of you, wait here. No
communication with the outside. I'm going to have federal marshals in
the room watching you. I'm going to be doing a little praying myself.
Crowe: The war goes on.
The judge retired to his chamber. The two attorneys stood in the room, and two marshals took up positions at the door.
Crowe: I'm aware the Church has a rather awesome archive of historical documents.
Bishop
Bernays: This little show we're putting on for the judge...he's not
going to allow you to expose your document in open court. He's going to
forbid you from publishing it anywhere. At any rate, we know all about
the ancient fake pandemic. A few of us. We have hundreds of old
newspaper articles. COVID-19, the virus, the masks, the distancing. We
knew this day would arrive.
Crowe: So the only thing left is for all your Church members to know where their religion really came from.
Bishop
Bernays: From a scientific hoax, rather than a revelation on a
mountain? Why should people be disabused of their faith? What counts
is what the Church stands for now.
Crowe: Submission to authority. Embracing grinding poverty as a way of life.
Bishop
Bernays: We don't see it as you do. We're giving people what they
really want. Release from desire. Emptiness. Function. Over three
hundred million of them spend their lives, generation after generation,
building cathedrals.
Crowe: Building them to what end?
Bishop Bernays: It doesn't matter.
Crowe: Why not?
Bishop Bernays: Freedom to choose is only for the few. The rest are going to be slaves to something. It's their choice.
Crowe: It's a con.
Bishop Bernays: Or a miracle.
Crowe: Haven't you ever wanted to shove in all your chips on your own INDIVIDUAL destiny?
Bishop Bernays: Why? Life is a pattern. Nothing more. The only question is, who provides that pattern?
Crowe: That's a cynical view for a Bishop.
Bishop Bernays: If God wants me to see things differently, He hasn't informed me.
Crowe: I believe I see---
Bishop
Bernays: The source of my confidence? Even if the origin story of the
Church is exposed, what difference will it make to our members? Most of
them will go on as before. We might even see an increase in
membership. Dedication runs deep. The truth is a cheap commodity.
Crowe: Then admit the facts and let's be done with it.
Bishop Bernays: There's nothing to admit. You're the one who's causing ripples in the pond.
Crowe: Your Church once rose, and it'll eventually fall. Freedom isn't affected by the same...pattern, as you would say.
Bishop
Bernays: Now THAT'S something to think about. And I do. It's a
curious situation. The judge is returning. Let's hear what he has to
say...
The judge seems rattled as he resumes his seat on the bench.
Judge:
I'm afraid there's been a new development. It's shocking. It
supersedes this hearing. Your document, Mr. Crowe, is on ice for now.
You may not release it. The penalty for publishing it would be
EXTREME. News outlets are reporting an outbreak of disease in China.
It's serious. Apparently, our conviction that viruses are harmless may
be misguided. There are 500 cases of a coronavirus infection, a lung
problem. It's quite serious. The Chinese government is in the process
of locking down 50 million people.
Crowe: What?! This is a diversion, a distraction from the very thing we're discussing---
Judge:
You're out of order, Mr. Crowe. I don't want to hear your speculations
and accusations. The VID Pope has just announced that all 500 million
Church members will be taken off their cathedral-building duties and
assigned to help victims of the outbreak around the world. Global
leaders are praising the Pope for her devotion to the cause of saving
lives and tending to the stricken. And you want to expose the Church as
a FRAUD? It won't fly.
Crowe: This is---
Bishop Bernays: It's brilliant. I mean, noble.
Crowe: We're not done.
Judge: Watch yourself, sir.
Crowe: We don't fold. Don't you know that by now?
Bishop Bernays: You think we're overplaying our hand?
Crowe:
You're taking 500 million people who keep trying, every day, to believe
in abject poverty, and now you're making them stem the tide of an
epidemic...what happens when they figure out this epidemic is a fake?
And they will figure it out. You and your elite colleagues better have a
very good hiding place. I'd recommend Saturn or Jupiter...
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