Why A Growing Number of People Are Abstaining From Porn & Masturbation
They are known as “fapstronauts,” and
they are part of a growing community of hundreds of thousands of men and
women who are abstaining from masturbation to internet pornography.
Their community is called “NoFap,” and
its founder, Alexander Rhodes, is a man on a mission to educate and
inspire the world about the damaging effects of masturbating to porn.
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What could possibly be wrong with
harmless masturbation, you might wonder? Aren’t we meant to enjoy the
simple pleasure centres of our bodies?
According to Rhodes, masturbating to porn isn’t harmless at all. In fact, it is a silent epidemic of disastrous proportion.
“The emergence of internet pornography
has changed the landscape of sexual development and relationships in a
way never-before-seen in human history,” he said during his speech at the Out of the Shadows national
press conference. “As a result, countless people are having their
sexual tastes shaped by porn producers rather than real, human,
experiences. These days, exposure to pornography seems to be a virtual
certainty and young men [and women] are therefore automatically
‘opted-in’ to potential addiction, relational difficulty, porn-induced
erectile dysfunction, and more,” he continued.
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During his speech, Rhodes discusses the
idea that porn is a relatively new variable in human evolution, and we
are only beginning to see the repercussions of its use arise in the
current generation of men and women.
He says exposure to porn is so rampant
that it is practically mandatory for children to come into contact with
some image or video before puberty. He quotes an Australian study
which asked 258 male participants about their exposure to porn. Only
one reported they’d never been exposed. Even more concerning, the median
age of first exposure was 13 for males and 16 for females.
In this way, Rhodes says, kids are learning about sexuality through porn before their first kiss.
Frequent masturbation to porn is causing erectile dysfunction in a generation of men.
Today, a large community of
“fapstronauts” is coming forward to talk about the impact this exposure
has had on their lives. They report heavy
reliance on porn and masturbation is manifesting in disturbing ways —
erectile dysfunction (ED) and anorgasmia, the inability to orgasm during
partnered sex, being a few of them.
According to a Kinsey report, in 1948 less than 1% of men under 30 had ED. In 2012, Swiss researchers found this number at 30%.
And the effects of watching porn span far beyond the physical, says Rhodes.
“Different studies on porn users are
showing associations with sexual dysfunction, brain hypofrontality,
desensitization, sensitization to porn cues, increased stress, less
motivation, relationship problems, decreased sexual satisfaction, and
other life-altering detriments.”
(For an extensive list of research articles on the effects of porn, click here.)
(For an extensive list of research articles on the effects of porn, click here.)
Numerous scientific studies have found that excessive porn use has biological and behavioural ramifications.
Rhodes also stresses that he and the NoFap community are in no way ‘sex negative’:
Being skeptical of pornography is not the same thing as being sex negative – there’s a huge difference between pornography and sex. In porn, the viewer is a voyeur, rather than a participant. It is on a screen. It is available in virtually endless amounts and pirated all over porn tube sites without monetary cost. It is always accessible, just a tap or click away. To our brain’s reward system, this can be an especially enticing quick and repeatable path to an orgasm, compared to partnered sex. In fact, many people who are quitting porn are doing so in the pursuit of better sex. Quitting porn is sex positive.
He notes many NoFap community members
are there to improve their interpersonal relationships, whether it be
for a marriage, a relationship, or single life. For others, it is simply
a challenge of willpower — to seize control of your sexuality and turn
it into superpowers.
“There are many, many different reasons
to join but we’re all on NoFap with one goal – to help each other
abstain from PMO (porn/masturbation/orgasm).”
Men And Women Report Incredible Life Shifts After Quitting Porn and Masturbation
Within the many pages of the NoFap forums, whether directly on the NoFap website or within the large and fast-growing Reddit community,
it is easy to see the profound shifts taking place for people who’ve
succeeded in the NoFap challenge, which consists of setting an intention
to abstain from masturbation and watching porn for a certain amount of
time and then riding it out.
The NoFap community is growing at a rapid pace.
Participants report diverse and
overwhelmingly positive results from their efforts, like increased
confidence, reduced anxiety, improved focus and memory, increased
concentration, improved social skills, deeper sleeps, enhanced abilities
to feel emotions, less brain fog, and even seemingly being more attractive to females.
While some might say these are rather
normal powers, fapstronauts say that after years of feeling depressed,
scattered. and unmotivated, the onset of these new changes feel as
incredible as real ‘ superpowers‘ would.
One user, “borninthenorthwest,” said committing to NoFap altered his attitudes toward sex and women entirely:
My relationship with porn began at the age of 13 with nude Playboy photos of Pamela Anderson and Jenny McCarthy. This was in the days of dial-up Internet, and I was initiated by my childhood best friend at the time. Although this did not seem pornographic, relative to what my peers were beginning to look at, I now see that this was the beginning. It began a cycle where every woman I met was judged by these photogenic standards, and felt no real attraction towards most girls in high school, despite being popular and well-liked for my prowess on the guitar.
He explained his warped attitude toward women posed issues in his sex life.
“None of the girls I met in college
could compare to the standards in my own mind. What few girls I was
attracted to, I felt incapable of asking out for a date, and often would
simply fantasize about them instead.”
He admits he developed an addiction to porn, and at 31 he discovered the NoFap community.
“Since then my relationship with both
pornography and far more innocent triggers is vastly different. I no
longer use porn at all, and no longer place the celebrity notion of
beauty on the pedestal either, and am interested in real life and real
people, slowly but surely engaging in reality.”
“Fapstronauts” claim that abstaining from porn and masturbation improves their overall confidence and sex lives.
Here is what a few other fapstronauts had to say.
Thesexymountainman:
“Went to a dance last night and asked a
bunch of girls to dance. Felt like a boss. A few months ago I would have
been sweating and shaking doing that. I would’ve been looking at the
floor with my head down like a whipped puppy trying to ask a girl to
dance. Stay strong everybody! There’s life after PMO, and it’s awesome
af!”
Amadadado:
“Today I am walking around with random erections all day long, like a teenager. I am in my 40s, so this feels strange.”
IronWide:
“Life is amazing and it’s only been two
weeks! I have found out how much more confident I am in public, and how
much more secure I feel about myself.”
TheGaurdian97:
“I finished a 300 page book in one
sitting today. Before I would fall asleep or procrastinate and play on
my phone. Now I can read and actually remember what I read.”
The Most Important Takeaway
Today, Rhode’s mission is to get the message out to parents so that healthy conversations can start happening at an early age.
Educating
children about sexuality and the effects of watching porn is a crucial
component in preventing porn addiction and porn related side effects.
“Families need to educate their children
about pornography – and they need to do so before the porn producers
do, since right now minors are getting hooked on porn long before they
are made aware of the potential negative effects.”
And for the ones currently suffering
from porn related side effects, he offers that the treatment to these
symptoms simply comes down to one thing— removing porn from their lives:
We simply want people to ask themselves the question, how is porn impacting my life and relationships? And if they do not know how porn is impacting them, they can simply take a quick break, changing one variable in a self experiment, to see what impact it might have on their lives and their relationships. Already, thousands have made the personal decision to leave porn in the past, and have gone on to live more fulfilling lives with improved interpersonal relationships. It’s time we think about and openly discuss our heavy usage of pornography. In the meantime more and more people around the world will continue to declare their autonomy and reclaim their sexualities from the porn production companies.
If you are struggling with porn
addiction, or are simply curious about what others are reporting from
abstaining from masturbation, join the NoFap communities through their website or on Reddit. NoFap
offers many resources as well as a global support network to help you
transition away from the addictive influence of porn.
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