5. He
Was Square Inside And Brown: The Underground History of American Education by
John Taylor Gatto from archive.org
Barbara Whiteside showed me a poem written by
a high school senior in Alton, Illinois,
two weeks before he committed suicide:
He
drew... the things inside that needed saying.
Beautiful pictures he kept under his pillow. When he started school he brought
them... To have along like a friend. It
was funny about school, he sat at a square brown desk Like all the
other square brown desks...
and his room Was a square brown room
like all the other rooms, tight And
close and stiff. He hated to hold the
pencil and chalk, his arms stiff His
feet flat on the floor, stiff, the teacher watching And watching. She told him to wear a tie
like All the other boys, he said he
didn't like them. She said it didn't
matter what he liked. After that the
class drew. He drew all yellow.
It was the way he felt about Morning.
The Teacher came and smiled, "What's
this? Why don't you draw
something like Ken's
drawing?" After that his
mother bought him a tie, and he always
Drew airplanes and rocketships like
everyone else. He was square
inside and brown and his hands were
stiff. The things inside that needed saying didn't need it
Anymore, they had stopped pushing... crushed, stiff Like everything else.
After I spoke in Nashville, a mother named
Debbie pressed a handwritten note on me
which I read on the airplane to Binghamton, New York:
We
started to see Brandon flounder in the first grade, hives, depression, he cried every night after he
asked his father, "Is tomorrow
school, too?" In second grade the physical
stress became apparent. The teacher pronounced his problem Attention Deficit Syndrome. My happy,
bouncy child was now looked at as a
medical problem, by us as well as the
school. A doctor, a psychiatrist, and a
school authority all determined he did
have this affliction. Medication was
stressed along with behavior modification. If it was suspected that Brandon had not been
medicated he was sent home. My square
peg needed a bit of whittling to fit their round hole, it seemed. I cried as I watched my parenting choices
stripped away. My ignorance of options
allowed Brandon to be medicated through second grade. The tears and
hives continued another full year until
I couldn't stand it. I began to homeschool Brandon. It was his salvation. No more pills, tears, or hives. He
is thriving. He never cries now and does his
work eagerly.
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