5. He
Was Square Inside And Brown: The Underground History of American Education by
John Taylor Gatto from archive.org
Barbara Whiteside showed me a poem
written by a high school senior in Alton, Illinois, two weeks before he committed suicide:
He
drew... the things inside that needed saying. Beautiful pictures he kept
under his pillow. When he started school he brought
them... To have along like a
friend. It was funny about school, he sat at a square brown desk Like all the other square brown
desks... and his room Was a square
brown room like all the other
rooms, tight And close and stiff. He hated to hold the pencil and chalk, his arms
stiff His feet flat on the floor,
stiff, the teacher watching And
watching. She told him to wear a tie like
All the other boys, he said he didn't like them. She said it didn't matter what he
liked. After that the class drew. He drew all yellow. It was the
way he felt about Morning. The
Teacher came and smiled, "What's this? Why don't you draw something like Ken's drawing?" After that his mother bought him
a tie, and he always Drew
airplanes and rocketships like
everyone else. He was
square inside and brown and his hands were stiff. The things inside that needed saying
didn't need it Anymore, they had stopped
pushing... crushed, stiff
Like everything else.
After I spoke in Nashville, a mother named Debbie pressed a
handwritten note on me which I
read on the airplane to Binghamton, New York:
We started to see Brandon flounder in
the first grade, hives,
depression, he cried every night after he asked his father, "Is tomorrow school, too?" In
second grade the physical stress
became apparent. The teacher pronounced his problem Attention Deficit Syndrome. My happy, bouncy child was now looked at as a medical
problem, by us as well as the
school. A doctor, a
psychiatrist, and a school authority all determined he did have this affliction. Medication
was stressed along with
behavior modification. If it was
suspected that Brandon had not been medicated he was sent home. My square peg needed a bit
of whittling to fit their round hole, it seemed. I cried as I watched my parenting choices stripped
away. My ignorance of options
allowed Brandon to be medicated through second grade. The tears and
hives continued another full year
until I couldn't stand it. I began to homeschool Brandon. It was his salvation. No more pills, tears, or
hives. He is thriving. He never cries now and does his work eagerly.
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