Jack's Official Marijuana Legalization Article
February 18, 2016
I get a number of emails and I thank all my readers for
that. I try to respond to each one as best I can, so if I overlooked
your email, please accept my apologies. I have been getting some regular
emails asking me to do an article on the subject of marijuana
legalization. Therefore, you the readers have called it. Let’s talk
about this flowering plant that generates such passionate controversy.
First off, there are few plants that create such criticism from moral prigs and tight-butt weenies and whiners than marijuana does. I mean, you don’t hear people talk about oregano or thyme in such a fashion. “Someone needs to do something about these oregano traffickers! I mean, it all began with an innocent little dash into the spaghetti sauce and now it’s all over the pizza! This must stop! Government must act!” People would say such a person needs to get a life and government needs to stay out of peoples’ spice racks. And our lives, too, by the way. Have such things ever been said about other flowering herbs? Let’s have a look at history, shall we?
The world of archaeology was astonished at the discovery of the Tarim Mummies out in the Takla Makan Desert in China. Now, these well-preserved Caucasian mummies are about 4,000 years old and have not yet collected Social Security or Medicare. I understand that they’ve been warned to sign up for Obamacare or face significant looting of their grave goods by the U.S. government. Be that as it may, one of the grave goods discovered with them was a huge sack full of marijuana buds, perfectly preserved. Indeed, I know what you’re thinking because I’m thinking that, too. “Hmmm…how well preserved? Aged, like wine?” We’ll never know because the stash of the Tarim Mummies is now an artifact. But, see, here’s the thing about it that people are missing: Marijuana has been used by humanity for thousands of years and here is the PROOF that cannot be denied. The Tarim Mummies stash was thought to be a medicine because of where it was located in the grave. Therefore, marijuana has been used by humanity as a medicine for thousands of years and we have archaeological proof that cannot be denied.
Leave it to the United States government to think it can overrule several thousands of years of human history with the bizarre testimony of some crackpot with a badge and then pass a law that puts said government in authority over the very nature of humanity itself. That the human body has cannabinoid receptors literally hardwired into our physiology which mean we have used marijuana quite possibly for tens of thousands of years says that the federal government, try as they may, cannot hardwire themselves into our body in the same fashion. How says this government unto us that it is wise? Were they wise, they wouldn’t have wasted such vast amounts of time and money to enforce a silly law against a flowering herb. They might as well have said, “Yes, well, marigolds are all well and good, but if it saves just one person from a sneezing attack, our law banning them will not have been in vain.” Pathetic. What a bunch of sniveling weenies, spinsters, and busybodies we have! The government is the Spinster State, the retirement home of Nanny State.
In the future, people will look back on the United States government and roar with laughter (and, indeed, some of us already do) to think that this government squandered such resources on a plant. One would almost surmise the entire government was seized with some outlandish superstition it had picked up from some arcane cult that also forbade eating ice cream on Tuesdays and using fresh mint in iced tea. But that would be due to the fact that the government is, in fact, an arcane cult all its own. As I have said before, Joseph Stalin was not as paranoid as the United States government. To hear them talk, you’d think marijuana landed from outer space to colonize the planet like it was “Day Of The Triffids” or something. “But we’ve got to keep kids off of drugs!”, they whine. Right, except the drugs YOU put them on, like all the various anti-depressants allegedly designed to keep them from taking a bite on a .357 magnum or discovering that the government itself lies like a cheap rug. They want to keep kids off the “drugs” that don’t have the Magic Piece Of Paper (a prescription) written for them saying that the government has said unto the kids, “Take these medicines which are dangerous drugs but we say the piece of paper makes it okay.”
Marijuana use does not kill people. This is a medicine and, honestly, what business is it of the government as to what people put into their bodies? The government gets the entire body itself through military enlistment and look how well they take care of those bodies. What’s left returns in a rubber bag to provide the proverbial “teachable moment” that the government is not the best judge of taking care of the human body. How is it the job of the government to tell me what I better not smoke, eat, or ingest? What, will they call me nightly to remind me to brush my teeth? Perhaps call me in the morning to ask if I ate a balanced breakfast since it’s allegedly the most important meal of the day? It really is as simple as this: Legalize marijuana. Not permits or pieces of paper from the government, no restrictions or government regulations. We need to be able to go down to “Anne’s Nursery and Garden Shoppe” and buy all the marijuana plants we want along with tomatoes and chile pepper plants. We need to be able to go down to “Ye Olde Spice Shoppe” and buy marijuana right there along with thyme and sumac. Boy, that’ll make a Za’atar to put into the olive oil, what? And if people want to use this plant like we have any other plant for several thousands of years, the government needs to get out of the way and stay out of the way. Government: Get back to doing what you do best, which is involving yourselves in the civil wars of other countries, and stop waging this de facto civil war against us!
This civil war the government wages against the American people needs to come to an end. Not a cease-fire with the government just “decriminalising” marijuana or promising they won’t enforce the law against medical use. The laws need to be abolished and never again should the government be allowed to get between us and our bodies. Personally, I don’t want the government involved with my body. I take showers and asking the government to be involved with my body negates that entire process. Lay down with dogs, wake up with fleas. Lay down with government, wake up with repression and a nanny state composed of self-righteous whiners and people for whom wearing a hat is putting a roof on an empty warehouse. Enough of these dummies. For all these clowns whining that they haven’t got any money, the government seems to find plenty to wage this silly war against its own people. Right, Saddam gassed his own people, shudder, shudder. What’s the difference between that and when the feds sprayed Paraquat on marijuana crops, knowing people would smoke that? Oh, Saddam gassed his own people! Yeah, well, so did you, Uncle Sam, so sit down and shut up.
So, here is my stand: Legalize this flowering plant by abolishing these laws. And let no government from city to federal ever pass any more laws about it ever again. The time has come and is now upon us. Our bodies belong to US, and NOT the government. This point needs to be made abundantly clear to them: Our Bodies Ourselves.
First off, there are few plants that create such criticism from moral prigs and tight-butt weenies and whiners than marijuana does. I mean, you don’t hear people talk about oregano or thyme in such a fashion. “Someone needs to do something about these oregano traffickers! I mean, it all began with an innocent little dash into the spaghetti sauce and now it’s all over the pizza! This must stop! Government must act!” People would say such a person needs to get a life and government needs to stay out of peoples’ spice racks. And our lives, too, by the way. Have such things ever been said about other flowering herbs? Let’s have a look at history, shall we?
The world of archaeology was astonished at the discovery of the Tarim Mummies out in the Takla Makan Desert in China. Now, these well-preserved Caucasian mummies are about 4,000 years old and have not yet collected Social Security or Medicare. I understand that they’ve been warned to sign up for Obamacare or face significant looting of their grave goods by the U.S. government. Be that as it may, one of the grave goods discovered with them was a huge sack full of marijuana buds, perfectly preserved. Indeed, I know what you’re thinking because I’m thinking that, too. “Hmmm…how well preserved? Aged, like wine?” We’ll never know because the stash of the Tarim Mummies is now an artifact. But, see, here’s the thing about it that people are missing: Marijuana has been used by humanity for thousands of years and here is the PROOF that cannot be denied. The Tarim Mummies stash was thought to be a medicine because of where it was located in the grave. Therefore, marijuana has been used by humanity as a medicine for thousands of years and we have archaeological proof that cannot be denied.
Leave it to the United States government to think it can overrule several thousands of years of human history with the bizarre testimony of some crackpot with a badge and then pass a law that puts said government in authority over the very nature of humanity itself. That the human body has cannabinoid receptors literally hardwired into our physiology which mean we have used marijuana quite possibly for tens of thousands of years says that the federal government, try as they may, cannot hardwire themselves into our body in the same fashion. How says this government unto us that it is wise? Were they wise, they wouldn’t have wasted such vast amounts of time and money to enforce a silly law against a flowering herb. They might as well have said, “Yes, well, marigolds are all well and good, but if it saves just one person from a sneezing attack, our law banning them will not have been in vain.” Pathetic. What a bunch of sniveling weenies, spinsters, and busybodies we have! The government is the Spinster State, the retirement home of Nanny State.
In the future, people will look back on the United States government and roar with laughter (and, indeed, some of us already do) to think that this government squandered such resources on a plant. One would almost surmise the entire government was seized with some outlandish superstition it had picked up from some arcane cult that also forbade eating ice cream on Tuesdays and using fresh mint in iced tea. But that would be due to the fact that the government is, in fact, an arcane cult all its own. As I have said before, Joseph Stalin was not as paranoid as the United States government. To hear them talk, you’d think marijuana landed from outer space to colonize the planet like it was “Day Of The Triffids” or something. “But we’ve got to keep kids off of drugs!”, they whine. Right, except the drugs YOU put them on, like all the various anti-depressants allegedly designed to keep them from taking a bite on a .357 magnum or discovering that the government itself lies like a cheap rug. They want to keep kids off the “drugs” that don’t have the Magic Piece Of Paper (a prescription) written for them saying that the government has said unto the kids, “Take these medicines which are dangerous drugs but we say the piece of paper makes it okay.”
Marijuana use does not kill people. This is a medicine and, honestly, what business is it of the government as to what people put into their bodies? The government gets the entire body itself through military enlistment and look how well they take care of those bodies. What’s left returns in a rubber bag to provide the proverbial “teachable moment” that the government is not the best judge of taking care of the human body. How is it the job of the government to tell me what I better not smoke, eat, or ingest? What, will they call me nightly to remind me to brush my teeth? Perhaps call me in the morning to ask if I ate a balanced breakfast since it’s allegedly the most important meal of the day? It really is as simple as this: Legalize marijuana. Not permits or pieces of paper from the government, no restrictions or government regulations. We need to be able to go down to “Anne’s Nursery and Garden Shoppe” and buy all the marijuana plants we want along with tomatoes and chile pepper plants. We need to be able to go down to “Ye Olde Spice Shoppe” and buy marijuana right there along with thyme and sumac. Boy, that’ll make a Za’atar to put into the olive oil, what? And if people want to use this plant like we have any other plant for several thousands of years, the government needs to get out of the way and stay out of the way. Government: Get back to doing what you do best, which is involving yourselves in the civil wars of other countries, and stop waging this de facto civil war against us!
This civil war the government wages against the American people needs to come to an end. Not a cease-fire with the government just “decriminalising” marijuana or promising they won’t enforce the law against medical use. The laws need to be abolished and never again should the government be allowed to get between us and our bodies. Personally, I don’t want the government involved with my body. I take showers and asking the government to be involved with my body negates that entire process. Lay down with dogs, wake up with fleas. Lay down with government, wake up with repression and a nanny state composed of self-righteous whiners and people for whom wearing a hat is putting a roof on an empty warehouse. Enough of these dummies. For all these clowns whining that they haven’t got any money, the government seems to find plenty to wage this silly war against its own people. Right, Saddam gassed his own people, shudder, shudder. What’s the difference between that and when the feds sprayed Paraquat on marijuana crops, knowing people would smoke that? Oh, Saddam gassed his own people! Yeah, well, so did you, Uncle Sam, so sit down and shut up.
So, here is my stand: Legalize this flowering plant by abolishing these laws. And let no government from city to federal ever pass any more laws about it ever again. The time has come and is now upon us. Our bodies belong to US, and NOT the government. This point needs to be made abundantly clear to them: Our Bodies Ourselves.
Jack Perry [send him mail]
is an arrowmaker and writer who lives in the Four Corners area of the
Southwestern United States. He has been a truck driver, a purchasing
agent at a now-defunct renewable energy company (don't even ask him
about the "Green energy" scam), and served in the 101st Airborne
Division. He spends his time practicing traditional archery, making
arrows in the wilds of the Arizona high desert, and finding himself only
mildly amused by the antics of the Great Father in Washington.
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